Could be worse....

Imagine if you will the song Welcome to the Jungle by G&R....can you hear it? nananananana........nananananana.........oh my god.....wriiirrrr........ ok, can spell music notes but you can play it in your head. I am back. After a month out of the net to actually do some work and take a much needed vacation, its great to come back refreshed. Unfortunately, I don't own a real camera so no pictures were taken of the time at Ocean City. Maybe its for the best, I am darker than Kunta Kente. Peeling worse than an onion in the kitchen. Sad. Anywho...

I was driving to the airport heading back home from working in Milwaukee again and spending the entire week trying to understand SAP, I begin to wonder if the SAP consultants actually have lives. I mean, you get so wrapped up in SAP terms and processes, how do you relate to others? Hey baby, what is your conditions? You can hit me at my info record anytime. See, even the jokes in SAP sucks. Serious. But how bad is that job? Lets explore some other none desirable selections

1. Anal Thermometer tester. Your job description: just bend over. I know they have to test them. Can you imagine? What? They are working overtime? No!!!!! Increasing production? AHHHHHH!!!!

2. MMA sparing partner. OK, suit up and let the likes of Brock Lesner, Anderson Silva or GSP work on you before the fight. All you have to do is survive as they work on you for who knows how long. At least if you were an opponent, you know when the torture will end. Sparing partner? Hell no.

3. Stadium Janitor. You know it will be dirty as crap after any event. Worse yet, after a rock concert. Yeah, you might find a IPOD or a watch or some minimum item of some worth. But first you have to dig it out of a pile of puke. Seriously? You know they have tons of puke just all over the place. Imagine the stadium sits 50,000? That's a lot of trash. All for you to gather. Did I mention the 10 different bathrooms?

4. Nursing assistant at an nursing home. Bed pans. People asking you for anything like scratching their back, picking up the clothes, wiping the drool off their chin, and even wiping butts. I know it must be done but that's what you face everyday for a number of people. Ok, 500 pound Willie in room 10 needs his sponge bath. Hooray?

5. Mortician. All your customers are dead. You either have to pull out all of thier inners and emblam them or you can have a BBQ. Man, the smell. Are you kidding me? And the look of a dead person just staring at you. Ugh. Not only do you have to clean them up and prep them but you have to make them presentable for the viewing. Wow, imagine doing the eye liner? The lip stick. AND THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO HAVE SEX WITH DEAD PEOPLE. SICK!!!!!! I would have nightmares just seeing those eyes looking back at me....

OK, SAP consultants doesnt sound so bad now doesnt it? More master data....