Tackling the tough questions......

I was watching SpongeBob recently (dont ask) and I began to reflect on some great ones from the past. One of my favorite was the Justice League. Always fighting the Legion of Doom, the Super Friends did what they could to defeat the foe. Yet, there was an issue with the Justice League that today I cannot answer and need to be explored…..

How did the Wonder Twins make the cut?

To recap those that are unfamiliar with this set of heroes, they would do the fist bump and the girl (Jayna) could change into any animal and the boy (Zan) would change into a water feature. They also had a monkey named Gleek? I am not too sure its role other than just being the monkey. Gleek had no power. (Where the hell did they come up with these names anyway?) In fact, the monkey only got into trouble and made it worse. I don’t remember anything positive that the monkey provided. Anyway, so you have Superman, Batman and Robin, Wonder Woman, etc. and they had significant powers or coolness about them. The Twins…nothing really, right?

“Wonder Twin powers…activate. Form of an elephant…..shape of a bucket of water”! Why, did someone need a shower?

“Form of an eagle….shape of an icicle!” Why? Did someone needed to be stabbed and an eagle was not suspicious as an attacker?

Seriously, how did they even think about this? Since when does anyone who is in trouble think “Boy, if an eagle with an icicle would come down and stab this criminal, the world would be a better place”.

So, I have digressed from the point on how they became part of the Super Friends. Did a story board meeting at DC comics go like this?

Director: Ok, so the Legion of Doom is trying to leak oil into the Gulf of Mexico. The oil will suffocate the ocean and destroy the earth!! We need someone to stop them.

Writer: Cool. Can we just have superman fly into the gulf and plug the hole?

Director: No, the oil has kryptonite properties.

Writer: Oh. Um, can Wonder Woman fly her plane into the ocean and use a beam to close the leak?

Director: No, it’s a no fly zone.

Writer: Really? Ok, can the Green Lantern use his green laser to close the hole?

Director: No, it’s during the daylight hours.

Writer: What? WTF? What does that have to do with the laser? Seriously. OK, so what about Aquaman? He could use water animals to fix this.

Director: Have you no shame!! The oil, it will kill the mammals!!!!!

Writer: You got to be kidding me. What about Hawkman?

Director: Can’t swim. Don’t you know that feathers and water don’t mix? And haven’t you seen how birds look with oil on their feathers? It’s so hard to remove unless you have Dawn since they cut through grease.

Writer: Yeah, whatever. Flash?

Director: Um, underwater?

Writer: Holy crap. Batman and Robin?

Director: Wouldn’t their suits get wet? That would not be comfortable.

Writer: And??? Good Lord. Wait, we could add the Wonder Twins into the show?

Director: Explain.

Writer: Well, she could be a whale and he would be a water plug. She would swim down and use him to plug the hole.

Director: Hummm. Can she be a walrus with a water collar and use her tusk to plug the hole?

Writer: Why would a walrus have a water collar? Wouldn’t the walrus drown underwater?

Director: Just do it, damn it….Do I have to do all the work here!!! In fact, make the twins a staple on the show!!!

Writer: (walking away) ok, ok….geez….

Yep, I think that’s how it went.