Why would it be any different????

If you havent noticed by now, I spend a lot of time in airport terminals just waiting for my flight back and forth from York to Milwaukee. I have to say, its getting old very quick but its a job and somebody has to do it. As I was muddling through a very uneventful weekend and munching on a bag of sweet spicy chili Doritos (come on, don't hate) and I was wondering how addicted am I? I don't think I am really addicted like someone to crack but how would I know? I went through the steps of what I do to get these, how I tend to hide it from others and go about how important it is to my daily routine. after much debate, I am a level 5 addict. How did I determine this? Here is a list to follow to determine your addiction level. This is from least amount to full blown addict.

10. You have taken a picture of it and have it somewhere with you. You seen the famous photo of Snoop Dog with the joint and all the smoke flowing out from his nostril. He claims to hit it from time to time but when you are in a photo with it, its the start. And as you can tell by my photo, I been there and got the t-shirt.

9. You are part of their fan club. I cannot say what level I am, but I am on the list. I ask for emails when they come out with new flavors. I have also called when they discontinued a flavor. Like the time they got rid of guacamole flavor. It was the best I ever tasted. When I called, they mentioned that it was just a trial version and maybe they would reintroduce that. Hey you have a fan of your product calling you to ask for this specific flavor and you want to think about it? What is there to think? I want it!!!! I want it!!!! Um, ok that was weird..... I haven't thrown away my t-shirt when she gave me attitude. I just stepped on it a few times then I said sorry to the shirt before hand washing it.

8. You have a stash somewhere in your place of work. Yep, I have that as well. I tend not to have as much as I would like to but I tend to always have a bag there. I don't know what happen, they are like rabbits. Multiplying by the minute. Not like I am complaining.

7. You get irritable if you don't get it. Oh yeah, I been there so many times before. I even made u turns when I saw a spot to get some when I am feeling it. Inside I do feel a bit upset that I let myself get drawn in to it but its calling me. Can you hear the voice? Eat me, Mitch....Eat me.....wow...let me stop there.

6. You plan your day around it. Yes, I have placed it in my calender from time to time to buy them. On my calender. How sick is that? You use a calender to plan events and task to do. What the hell is a task: Buy Doritos. Should I feel even worse that I even label them by flavor? Moving on....

5. You have ordered it online because you cannot find it anywhere in your area. I found a barrel of Doritos guacamole from an outskirt location in Alaska. I am already putting my head down in shame just thinking about it. So when I called, the man on the phone couldn't be specific on if it was actually Doritos Guacamole. Is this how crack fiends feel? So he wanted $80 dollars for it. I am really embrassed about this but they were stale. I ate them all already.

4. You name a pet or kid after it. So when you run into kids with names like Dust, Nacho, Tingle, Crystal, Diamond, Nico, Mercedes, etc, you know thier parents addiction. I dont have a pet and I my kids are already of age but if I get a pet, its name will be Gucamole. I would call it G-Mo. Seriously. It has to be something green like a lizard or frog to pull that off. It would not be good if its a brown dog or something.

3. You have stolen money or sold vauables to pay for it. Lucky for me, Doritos come in 99 cent bags. I dont know what I would do if they were 10 bucks a shot. Would I sell my 1965 Betty Boop collection? Um, just kidding. I dont have a collection that old. NO! I dont own a Betty Boop collection!! Stop the madness!!! Seriously, I seen shows where people become homeless due to the addiction. I really dont think I am in that class. What I could sell is my old chip bag collection. What? Yes, I collect chip bags. Is that wrong?

2. You would roll around naked with it in bed. Now, I can imagine someone walking into my room and seeing me naked on the bed surrounded with nacho cheese crumbs and sweet spicy chili....I would be licking my arms.....flopping like a fish out of water. You seen people do that with money. Is that far off? Yes, of course I would shower first and no, I would not use a dip.

1. You would sell yourself or do anything for it. This is a area that I can only draw from shows to fill in the blanks. I would strave since I would get no business. Filipino dude would pole dance for 99 cents??? Anyone????